Thursday, July 31, 2008

Clinky and His Pals...The Giant Non Sequitur-Eating Babies of Mainland China

Before we present our regularly scheduled program, Clinky's adventures with the Giant Non Sequitur-Eating Babies of Mainland China, we bring you this brief announcement. Vita-Spermin: There is strength and power in each dose of Vita-Spermin. Ask for it by name. Or not. Vita-Spermin.
We further interrupt Clinky's adventures with the Giant Non Sequitur-Eating Babies of Mainland China to bring you this important public service announcement. When resuscitating a victim of some unknown peril, ALWAYS apologize to the victim first for the indignities to which you are about to subject him (see picture at top left for directions). A good thing to say is, "Look, I'm sorry we're both about to go through this." Then, always apologize when you fail to resuscitate the victim (see picture at bottom right for directions). As shown, you can always just bow your head silently when you fail.
And Now...Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program
Clinky: "Hey, Giant Non Sequitur-Eating Babies of Mainland China! It sure is swell of you to invite me to this, uh, giant peach jamboree, but I've got a hot dish in the oven, and..."
Giant Babies: "MORE NON SEQUITURS, CLINKY! WE'RE HUNGRY!"
Clinky: "Look, if I give you more non sequiturs will you get me down off of this Macy's Parade abomination?
Giant Babies: "SURE!"
Clinky: "Paper or plastic? Plutonium!"
Giant Babies: "YAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Clinky: "Okay, I want down."
Giant Babies: "OKAY!"
Clinky: "Okay. This is not what I meant by "down."
Giant Baby: "I LOVE SPACE!"
Clinky: "You don't have to shout, kid. I'm right next to you and, uh, Bark-o the Doganaut."
Giant Baby: "I LOVE SPACE!"
Clinky: "Well, sure. Me too, kid. I mean, I'm a robot."
Giant Baby: "SPACE MAKES ME HUNGRY!"
Clinky: Sigh.
Giant Baby: "MORE NON SEQUITURS, PLEASE!"
Clinky: "Can you give me something to work with?"
Giant Baby: "I LOVE SPACE!"
Clinky: "The hamsters will ride by dawn's first light!"
Giant Baby: "YAAAAY!"
Clinky: "Can I have 'down' now, please?"
Clinky: "What th'!? Where am I now?"
Giant Babies: "Do not be afraid, we are the High Council of Giant Non Sequitur-Eating Babies of Mainland China and we bring you floral tributes."
Clinky: "Well, that's real square of you Giant Babies and all, but I've got my own stuff to do. I can't be feeding you non sequiturs every second. Plus, it looks like you could stand to cut back on the non sequiturs a little."
Giant Babies: Growwwwwl.
Clinky: "You know what? Sandwiches are good. Why not try a sandwich?"
Giant Babies: "A non sequitur sandwich?"
Clinky: "No, I'd go with a nice pastrami sandwich or maybe some tuna. No! You know what? I'd make myself a nice panini or grilled cheese with a George Foreman grill."
Giant Babies: "A Foreman grill? Will you buy us a Foreman grill?"
Clinky: "Buy you a Foreman grill? Heck, kids, I'll bring you George Foreman!"
Giant Babies: "Very good. You are free to go."

THE END
...or is it? Yes, it is.