Wednesday, October 24, 2007

That Ol' Black Magic

Okay, I'm the first to admit that I'm overly jumpy about paranormal phenomena. To be honest, I'm the female Don Knotts in The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, and this time of year is particularly tough. Wait. What's that noise! What's that stealthy, rustling sound? It can only be a gruesome fiend who means the world no good. Wait. No, okay. It's a squirrel. But the squirrel has a hatchet! No, okay. The squirrel doesn't have a hatchet, it has a clump of garbage stuck to its paw. You see? I need your calm, scientific minds to help me sort this out because this week I'm seeing black magic everywhere.

First, I just realized that Bisquick is into some dark, dark juju. Check out these recipes that I found last night:
"Impossible Pie," "Magic Puff Sandwich," "Hidden Sloppy Joe"--it's just not natural. These people have more secrets than the Masons for cryin' out loud!

Then, this morning, I got up and the world just seems...different somehow. I'm going about my usual routine, but I have the feeling that something has changed. I took some photos so you can help me. I made some delicious coffee, got my cheerful little whistling birdie cup down from the cupboard, and went for the milk:
And, when I got back my cup didn't seem right and the coffee? Why, it just didn't taste right.
I went to make an English muffin, but the toaster didn't seem to work. Frustrated, I tried to pour some refreshing juice. Refreshing juice usually helps soothe any morning hissy fits. Not today, 'though. "Forget breakfast!" I cried, "Time to gild my Terrible Beauty with some eyeliner and mascara!" I bend down to look in my mirror...and this. Do I look different to you?
Somewhere, deep down, I have the feeling that it is all the Plastic Pumpkins guy's fault. But, I just can't seem to remember why this would be. Well, hopefully tomorrow will be better.

And, while I'm talkin' 'bout weird happenings, here are some of my favorite movies that are remotely related to the topic:
1) Bell, Book, and Candle
2) Kolchak the Night Stalker(Darren McGavin version)
3) The Blair Witch Project
4) I Married A Witch
5) The Bride of Frankenstein
6) House on Haunted Hill
7) The Old Dark House (1932)
8) Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (I must now include this item in ALL lists, regardless of topic)
9) The Legacy
10) The Ninth Gate
11) The Haunting (1963)
12) The Ghost and Mr. Chicken
13) Whatever Happened to Baby Jane