Friday, October 19, 2007

I Like A Good "Skirmish" and I Like Games

I like a good "skirmish" and I like games!

A "skirmish" popped up in some kind of casual, little pick-up baseball game that happened recently. Pop Warner or somethin.' Here's what I know:
1) The game happened last night.
2) This real cool guy played the game. He has groovy beatnik/Deadwood facial hair, a pleasing physical form, and a nifty lucky necklace that is almost as nice as my lucky rhinestone necklace. Oh, yes! He can throw a ball pretty well. This is him:
3) A "skirmish" almost happened between this guy and another guy. This is my favorite quote about this skirmish: "There was just a little verbiage back and forth. Nothing happened. Both teams ran out, looked at each other, ran back."

Ran out, looked at each other, ran back. They kinda sound like groundhogs poppin' out of the hole, seein' their shadows, and scootin' back under ground! Anyhoo, that was a pretty fun game. And, unlike some games I play, I didn't get carpal tunnel syndrome from it. I got a bit of exercise nervously pacing around, but this is beneficial cardio activity and all to the good. Oh, yeah! The beatnik guy and his friends won the game.

So, here is another pretty fun game that I like, but that has given me severe carpal tunnel syndrome:

You ask me: "Sparkle, why is Funhouse the best pinball machine ever?" It is really quite simple. Let me Spillane it to you:
1) Observe: There is plenty of cool stuff happening throughout the game deck and no horrid, endless empty vistas in the middle of the machine. There are overhead chutes, bumpers, secret passageways, and, oh yes, did you happen to notice the VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY HEAD??? Rudy. That is Rudy.
2) Rudy talks to you frequently. He says such things as, "Oh, boy oh boy, I thought you were my pal!" and "Hey! How's about a hot dog, biff?" and "You ain't seen the likes of me!" and "Gangway!" and "I feel like a million!" Sometimes, if you lose your ball, Rudy says, "Hey Bucko, play another one." Awfully decent of him.
3) Rudy has three moods. This makes him much like you, me, and the beatnik guy and his friends who played the pick-up game last night. I do not know another pinball machine that has this characteristic.
"Happy mood": When the clock in the game is before 11:30, or frenzy has been lit.
"Unhappy mood": Clock is 11:30 or 11:45.
"Frantic mood": multiball is in effect.
Sometimes in Frantic mood, Rudy screams like a girl. This is very, very funny.
4) You trigger the Frantic mood--if you're playing well--after the funhouse "closes" and Rudy goes to sleep. When this happens, he snores with his mouth open. It is now time to shoot the ball into Rudy's mouth, to wake him up, to have him vomit the ball out of his mouth, and to play multiball.
5) If you don't think that's fun, you are not human. But, I still like you.

To sum up: A beatnik guy and his friends won a pick-up game, and in their town the mood has shifted from frantic to happy. I like a good skirmish, even when the skirmishees just look at each other and walk away. Funhouse is the best pinball game ever. Thank you for stopping by, and have an outstanding weekend.