Wednesday, December 12, 2007

This is a Test! This is Only A Test!

TEST 1: Yesterday, Cake wrote of her woes with a new winter hat and I volunteered to test out my theory that rubbing Bounce fabric softener sheets on the inside of the hat and/or one's head would help.

So, this works, huh? Particularly if you dig a Gary Oldman in Dracula meets Cousin It look?
Wait, wait! Give it a chance! Here you can see how the Bounce fabric softener helped condition my hair!
Oh, rats. It's just no good. When I have a theory I like to stick by it to the bitter end, like a captain going down with his ship, but this is the only solution that really works for me at the moment. I plan to cut small slits so I can sort of see where I am going.
If you, too, suffer from hat head there is a place for us: Hat Head Holiday Park. Let's go! It looks sunny and warm! (Hopefully "Holiday Park" is not a Logan's Run-type euphemism for a place where they cull the herd of the hat-headed.)

To sum up: I have not cured hat head.

TEST 2: My uncle used to work in the desert testing all kinds of materials to see how they bore the brunt of intense heat and high temperatures. Here are some photos of the facility that I just found. To me, intense heat and high temperatures sound very, very good right now. I would stand up well to their forces (although perhaps not the venomous snakes--as the sign notes, watch out for your members).

Great Scott! It's an early prototype of Bacon Ace's sideburns!
All kinds of stuff lying under the desert sun. And again, that sounds like a really good idea to me--unless, y'know, there are vultures and such lurking about.
To sum up: Don't get bitten by a poisonous snake.