Saturday, August 22, 2015

Ad Nauseum..."Agreeableness"

Hey, there! I'm Victor and I'm having a rough day. Not only am I lodged in this canine's toothy piehole, but I'm very confused by this ad:
1) Is this ad supposed to communicate what the German Shepherd is thinking? Because most German Shepherds (including this one, take it from me) tend to walk around thinking: "Meat guard kill. Meat guard kill." Sometimes they shake it up and go, "Guard meat kill."
2) Very few German Shepherds that I know spend time contemplating whiskey bottles.
3) Is there really such a thing as "the whiskey of moderation"? Most whiskey drinkers that I know are not into moderation.
4) What's an "amiable blend"? When I think "amiable" I think of a loose-limbed farmer kicking back on a porch, spitting and offering to share his "chaw." How does "amiable" factor into this ad? (Note: The German Shepherd is not amiable.)
5) What is "all-around whiskey agreeableness?" Does the Calvert Reserve help little old ladies cross the street or something? And then the German Shepherd knocks 'em down?
6) Okay, later. I have to go get chewed for awhile.