Friday, March 6, 2009

Happy Bill Day!

Howdy! Happy Friday to ya, and--most importantly--Happy Bill Day! No, no. Kee-RAP no! I don't mean those kinds of bills in the envelopes.

I've just got the itch to make my own holidays up after the Cake told us about International Women's Day.

I was feeling a little downcast--NOBODY sent me the memo about International Women's Day which, sadly, makes me believe that I'm only considered eligible to participate in Regional Women's Day, Rural Free Delivery (RFD) Women's Day, or perhaps most damningly, Burbgal Day--so I figured I'd make up my own holiday.

Today's holiday is Bill Day--in tribute to Bills everywhere. If you or someone you know (this sounds like a line from an ambulance-chasing lawyer commercial, doesn't it?) is a Bill, or if you've ever heard the name "Bill," go ahead and take the day off and party on down. Tell your boss "Sparkle Plenty" told you to do so and send any spoilsport boss letters of protest to Pop Mechs.

I'm celebratin':

Wedding Bell Blues! which slides in under the billdar due to the use of the name Bill (we'll consider it the official Bill Day anthem) and which I'm just including because I love this video, this song, and how awesome is Marilyn McCoo? C'mon! Awesome.

Bill Franzen, Bill Franzen, Bill Franzen, Bill Franzen, Bill Franzen! (Bill Franzen) and his book that NEVER should have ended up in the bargain bin where I bought it and that sells on Ebay for $1.00, which I hate because it's my favorite book: "Hearing from Wayne and Other Stories."*
Pooooor, Poor Dollar Bill! ("one of the nicest and most straightforward men I have ever met"):
Bill Murray! (Whenever something goes wrong, I ask myself, "What would Bill Murray do?")
Billie Dawn! (Judy Holiday in "Born Yesterday")
(Harry Brock: "Shut up! You ain't gonna be tellin' nobody nothin' pretty soon!" Billie Dawn: "DOUBLE NEGATIVE! Right?" Paul Verrall: "Right.")  

Billie Holiday!

Bill Holden! (a cool, cool cat...a very special breed of cool cat)

Bill Wyman!

Make merry! Be gay! Happy Bill Day!

*Yes! Dickens, Wodehouse, Bernard Shaw, Parker, I love 'em all and everybody else you might be about to name! However, when I apply the stiff criterion of "What book makes me feel exactly as I did--GREAT--when I first read it? This book wins. My favorite three stories: "Hearing from Wayne," "The Volunteer Organist," and "This Uncle." Did I mention Bill Franzen? BILL FRANZEN!!!! And, this has nothing to do with the fact that he is also a stand-up guy who, during my college years, called me after I wrote to him via his publisher and talked to me about writing so I could do a STUPID presentation in my fiction writing class. BILL FRANZEN! Crap. I should make a special day just for Bill Franzen! Consider it done. Tomorrow is Bill Franzen Day, okay? Synchronize watches.