Showing posts with label dinosaurs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dinosaurs. Show all posts
Welcome to May 2015!
1) Hooray! May is National Brain Tumor Awareness Month. By the laws and traditions of Brain Tumor Awareness Month, this means that it is time to take a brain tumor out to lunch, buy it flowers, and/or send it candy. It is not appropriate to express awareness by giving gold or diamond jewelry to a brain tumor. That's "fawning"--not "awareness."
2) May 12 is International Nurses Day. Do NOT celebrate nurses within the U.S. on this day. Furthermore, if a U.S. nurse attempts to give you soup or medication on this day, demand to see an International Nurse. (Sometimes U.S. nurses pretend to be International Nurses by adopting fake accents--do not let them fool you.)
3) May 15 marks the beginning of Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month. Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month extends through June 15. WHA? First: Why is Tourette Syndrome encroaching upon Brain Tumor's turf? There's going to be a rumble between the Tourette and Tumor gangs! Second: How can I be aware of both things from May 15-May 31? I can only be aware of one health-related thing at a time. Third: Why must Tourette Syndrome get the butt end of the month? Okay, this is all too troubling. I have to move on.
4) May is National Moving Month, in recognition of "the official start of the household goods industry's peak moving season." In celebration, I suggest you pick up an object, any object, in front of you and move it five inches. If you like, you can just spin your cursor around in little circles. That counts. Enjoy the small, yet vital role you are playing in celebrating the household goods industry's peak moving season.
Nat's Dream: The Floating HoJo's
"Yeah. Nat here. I disapprove of everything. I've disapproved of everything since I hatched out of an egg that your brain is not equipped to imagine. (For the record: I disapprove of your brain's inability to imagine what my egg looked like.) Except for one thing. I have always approved of the concept of a Floating HoJo's. And now, my dream has become a reality. Pfft. Can you believe building such a big ship and not having any restaurants?"
"Nat, man, you're wrong. Again. Oasis of the Seas has, like a bajillion restaurants and I don't know what all--snack cabanas, munchy kiosks, formal dining experiences in each of the 'hoods, and possibly even trained "chip chimps" who run by and stuff Fritos in your mouth when you holler "Chip me, chimp!""Yeah, okay, so. I refuse to believe that because I refuse to believe that.""You give me no choice, man, and I quote:THE BOARDWALK
•Seafood Shack: A casual indoor/outdoor family restaurant on the Boardwalk; seafood, over-sized desserts and a vast selection of ‘mocktails’
•Boardwalk Bar: The main bar on the Boardwalk; offering fruit, salads and sandwiches
•Boardwalk Donut Shop: A classic haunt for casual snacks and delicious treats
•Ice Cream Parlor: A variety of ice cream flavors and toppings take center stage against a backdrop of 1950s kitsch
•Johnny Rockets: ‘50’s-style Diner with server-entertainers
CENTRAL PARK
•150 Central Park: A trendy, upscale and intimate restaurant with a tasting menu with customized wine pairings
•Giovanni's Table: An Italian trattoria with both indoor and alfresco seating featuring Italian classics served family-style
•Park Café: An indoor/outdoor gourmet market featuring salads, sandwiches, soups, pastries and to-die-for fudge
•Vintages: A wine bar with pre-dinner tapas and cheeses along with a robust selection of fine wines
•Chops Grille: Royal Caribbean’s signature steakhouse with views of Central Park, and premium cuts or quality meats
POOL AND SPORTS ZONE
•Solarium Bistro: A health-conscious dining option for lunch and healthful fare and dancing under the stars in the evening
•The Wipe Out Café: A casual self-service buffet with pizza, hamburgers, sandwiches and fresh salads
•Izumi Asian Cuisine: Featuring mouthwatering flavors and a sushi bar with hot-rock cooking
ROYAL PROMENADE
•Mondo Café: Open around the clock this café offers coffee, sandwiches and pastries like those found in Italy, Spain and Cuba
•Sorrento's Pizzeria: Featuring New York style pizza, with both made-to-order pies and by the slice
•Café Promenade: Offering Seattle’s Best coffee, fruit shakes, pastries and sandwiches all day
•The Cupcake Cupboard: Featuring fresh-baked gourmet cupcakes as well as parties and design classes
VITALITY AT SEA SPA AND FITNESS CENTER
•The Vitality Café: Offering healthy snacks, sandwiches, wraps, fruit and smoothies.
THE CLASSICS, Royal Caribbean hasn’t forgotten the classics of its fleet:
•Opus Dining Room: The ship’s main restaurant features a three-tier venue with a 1920s Art Deco style; flexible My Time Dining and traditional assigned seatings
•Windjammer Marketplace: A casual buffet fare for breakfast, lunch and dinner
•In-Stateroom Service: Order from the complimentary breakfast, lunch and dinner menus, or choose an original Johnny Rockets hamburger or Ghirardelli chocolate cookies from the new Dine In Delights menu
"I disapprove. I also note that you did not mention a Howard Johnson's, so I feel secure in my business plan to follow this ship around with my Floating HoJo's and its now-fully-functional fryolator.""Howard Johnson's doesn't even EXIST anymore, Nat! THAT'S how much demand there is for it!""It's just not a vacation without HoJo's. Now, if you'll excuse me I must go make my 28 flavors of ice cream. I'm expecting customers any moment."
By jove, it's a diner!
Briefing: This is a diner called Snoopy's. There is almost always a "Help Wanted" sign in the window. They specialize in small jukeboxes and even smaller "Hot Weiners," which I contend are actually "Hot Wieners." But, hey, Snoopy's the specialist--not me. There is a lifetime supply of Sweet 'n Low behind the counter, so if you run short you know where to go. End o' Briefing!
Yeah! It's a diner!
Briefing: This is a diner owned by a guy named Vern. Vern's diner has a lighthouse on top of it. On the menu: The Vern Omelette, with four kinds of meat and a bunch of other stuff. Note: You can join a contest to name Vern's plane. End o' Briefing!
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