You and Your Attitude Have Scary Roundy Heads
If You Are Making Out and Question Marks Appear in the Air, Be Very Worried
Now That You Are A Young Lady, You Will Spend Hours Staring Into Lockers...
If You Try to Be Abstinent, A Giant Bed Will Follow You Wherever You Go
Get a Load of This! Natural Gas is Cuddly and Fun! Whee! Play with It!
Improve Your Interpersonal Skills by Forcing Others to Shake Hands!
How to Recycle: Dump Everything Into One Can And Throw It Anywhere!
What Happens When You Smoke Marijuana: You stand around and make fun of your friend who is cold and scared because he has not smoked marijuana!
How to Develop Leadership Skills: Get People to Follow You Up a Staircase to Nowhere
If Your Coworker is Crouched Down with a Globe On His Shoulders, Don't Ponder It--Run. 
Improve Your Listening Skills by Growing Ears!
If A Giant Stopwatch Falls on Your Friend, Fondle Him!
In An Emergency, Wave Goodbye to All You Hold Dear
If A Giant Stopwatch Falls on Your Friend, Fondle Him!
In An Emergency, Wave Goodbye to All You Hold Dear
If You Cannot Get Cocaine, Your Brain Will Break In Two
You Might Need to Remind Your Elderly Relative Where He Hid the Booze
To Conserve Your Hearing on the Job, Tune Out Your Coworkers
You Do Not Want to Know About "Universal Precautions." Rubber Glove? 'nuff Said.
Poop is Shaped Like Flowers. Do Not Mistake It For Flowers.
Conserve Water? Why? It is Plentiful and Jolly and Loves Being Squandered!
If You Allow Yourself to Be Crucified at Work, That's a Winning Attitude, Mister!
