Thursday, December 10, 2015

Incredible InfoGraphics Explained by Cappy

Ahoy there. I'm Cappy. This morning, I have already enjoyed several refreshing libations--Harvey Wallbangers, if you must know, because the orange juice is healthful in the a.m. My wits are keen, my analysis skills are laser sharp, and I am fully prepared to explain an extremely important Incredible Infographic to you!
First, what are YOUR key takeaways? I'll give you a few minutes to think about it while I go over and chat with my friend the bartender.

Okay. Are your takeaways that "Of every 20 epileptics who are not self-supporting 16 were found to be employable and of the remaining 4 one did not want to work, two according to their past records were not reliable, and only one could not work because of sickness"? WRONG! Here are the correct takeaways:

1) How are those 16 guys gonna fit into those tiny little boxes with the squiggly stuff on top? 
2) How can those tiny little boxes with the squiggly stuff on top result in gainful employment?
3) Those 16 guys march well, this is true. But: Do they think they can fit in there? They worry me.
4) Mr. One Guy Who Did Not Want to Work is...Mr. SMARTEST GUY, yo! He knows he is not gonna be able to fit in those tiny little boxes. He just sits back and says, "No thanks, dude. I'm good."
5) Mr. Two Guys Who Were Not Reliable are...ALSO Mr. Smartest Guys! If being reliable makes you march off and try to squeeze yourself into tiny little boxes I say it is a poor idea to be reliable.
6) Mr. One Guy Who Could Not Work Because of Sickness is...ALSO Mr. Smartest Guy! Between you, me, and the barkeep: His sickness is due to trying to squish himself into tiny little boxes with the squiggly stuff on top. He is sick of that and he would rather roam the fjords. Go little sick guy GO!