Ad Nauseum..."Youthful Feel"

Archie and His Doppelganger's Top Takeaways from This Ad:
1) Why would you want your foot to feel like it did when it was a teenager? Draggin' along the ground all sullen and hormone-besieged...
2) This "Magic Sole"...can it do my taxes and make me cheesecake? If it can't, it ain't Magic.
3) Somehow, that shoe IS kind of hot-looking, but how does a human foot fit in it? Diagram needed.