Showing posts with label making life easier. Show all posts
Showing posts with label making life easier. Show all posts

RUMBLE!

So, I'm supposed to be working this morning and/or taking care of vital life-related errand stuff. To blow out all the cobwebs and prepare to focus, I got up bright and early, cleaned up the kitchen, weed-whacked the yard until the battery ran out (okay, maybe the weed whacker isn't perfect, but I STILL like it!), poured myself a nice, big cup of coffee, and sat down at the computer with several documents open, ready to go. I flexed my hands, preparing the muscles of my freakishly small fingers to fly across the keyboard and make me some much-needed moola.

Then I got up, went out on the back deck, stuck a plastic dinosaur on the hummingbird feeder, and started taking photographs of it. As I have noted, I am VERY bad at catching the perfect picture. However, I did get a quick shot of a hummingbird (visible on the left side of the feeder, studiously bent to its task of sipping nectar) with the dinosaur.* It pleased me for no particularly good reason. And, somehow having done that will make it easier to do my work today.

Here are some other photographs I took this morning, with brief explanatory captions hither and yon.

Two of my four front windowboxes. I had a vision of the windowboxes packed with lots and lots of pretty plants and colored glass bottles. As you will see, I haven't quite realized my vision. But, it's a start!
Butterfly slumming in the dirt: It had really pretty blue markings on its wings which I, of course, was unable to capture.
Last week, I was walking Lily back from an exciting walk in which we viewed a smushed frog and a smushed snake in which she did not roll and I saw these baskets sitting outside the farm up the road from me. They were with the recycling stuff and some worn-out equipment. They were out with the trash! My eyes gleamed. "Maybe I'll just take one, I thought," and I ended up taking all eight. As you might imagine, it was tricky to hold on to Lily, the baskets, and Lily's bag of poop.

I feel very guilty to admit that I left the bag of poop hidden behind a tree in front of an extremely multi-million dollar housing development called "Rustic Acres" or something. There used to be a farm there, as well as the one that is still across the street, and I must admit that somewhere not so deep inside I wish a farm was still there. I promised myself that I'd scoot right up the road and reclaim Lily's poop bag. I have yet to do so. I promise I will. I will do it today. I always scoop and never leave it behind. Just this once. In front of the multi-million dollar housing development known as "Rustic Acres."

Uh, yes. Anyway, here are the baskets. I scrubbed them out very well, and yesterday and today I applied Thompson's water seal so I can use them as plant podiums outside and/or whatnot. My particular favorite is the tiger stripey looking one towards the far right. (Look, I KNOW this is boring stuff, it's just either this or write about my work right now and trust me--nooooooobody wants that.)
*When I was working in the yard yesterday, I wrote a tight series of 4 dinosaur-related posts in my head. No, it does not really count that they are merely head-posts and not posted-posts. Yet, I must say that they flowed well and demonstrated a certain pleasing sinew of plot and character.

Be Wary: Jackass Circa 1950

Please. Do not try this at home:
Does this frolicsome sport exist now? Because it seems like a really bad idea to me. The skiers look all game and gung-ho in their brightly-hued billed caps and hooded parkas, but what are they ready for? To the best of my reckoning, there is a sharp precipice at the edge of the horizon and they do not appear to have any poles. Plus, the helicopter looks kind of cute and benign, but isn't its eventual role to wrench these poor dudes' arms out of their sockets? It worries me. (This is the cover of the December 1950 Popular Mechanics. I buy old guys' collections of the magazine.)

I bet the "inventions" and "good ideas" depicted in my old issues of Popular Mechanics were never tested. In fact, I suspect that many were just the fanciful brainfarts of someone who stayed cozily at their desk in NYC and peacefully puffed on a pipe while in small towns everywhere people blew themselves up, turned into human torches, and lurched off precipes into a vast blue nothingness. Back in the day, people didn't sue as much--they just figured it was Crazy Uncle Ralph's look-see if he went sailing off a precipice, not Pop Mechs' fault.

Speaking of "good ideas," this do-it-yourself bicycle chariot says to me not just, "Whee!" but "Little Darla is about to lose the front teeth that just grew in" (little Sammy seems to know this with his devil-may-care trike racer stance). Am I an alarmist? This just seems like an accident waiting to happen. The gift of major dental surgery that keeps on giving...
And speaking of gifts, let's mosey on to Christmas "good ideas." Popular Mechanics circa December 1950 has LOTS of 'em.

GIFT IDEA #1: Child-In-A-Bag
Okay, as it turns out these are NOT directions for a child-in-a-bag but for a laundry bag FOR a child WITH the child's face on it. I am horrified. The child in the picture is horrified. It would terrify me to wake up in the night and see the shadowy hulk of me across the room. With laundry in me.

GIFT IDEA #2: Paintings by "The Great Masters" rendered in SEEDSThis takes patience, time, and a certain amount of quiet desperation. I suggest that you start this project now and prepare to have it as a gift two years hence. Best of luck. If you lose your mind, please sue Popular Mechanics and not me. Thank you.

GIFT IDEA #3: A Telescoping House Trailer
Please make me one now, I want one. All kidding aside. I want this. The directions appear above. Thank you.

Finally, if you have a Christmas tree or if you have friends who have Christmas trees, you might want to pass the following info on to them. This is Mr. Christmas Tree. I always thought that trees grew in the woods, but apparently they grow out of Mr. Christmas Tree's left hand. He must be pretty old by now!
Fire can be a problem with Christmas trees. Pop Mechs has a solution. Simply station your young children beneath the tree throughout the holiday season so they can raise an alarm if there's trouble. All set? You bet! Thanks for stopping by!
TODAY'S BONUS FEATURE: A Cute Old Ad...Just Because!