Dinosaur Casserole, a set on Flickr.
Showing posts with label Bertie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bertie. Show all posts
HAPPY FRIDAY!
Happy Friday to you and you and you and you--whenever you read this!
So, here's the latest word on the Elite Team of Rescue Experts:
Yes, that's what I think, too. The latest word is "ENOUGH!" I've decided to release them from their watery prison before I take off for a trip for the next five(ish) days. I'm almost ready to go. I've got one bag packed, and I'm brushing up on raccoon lore in case I happen to meet one where I'm going. And, the line-up of the newly-grown rescue experts? Well, it's kind of pitiful, actually. They are all now so very swollen that most of them can't stand up on their own. The pirate is especially prone to tipping over. You see? When you tamper with SCIENCE (insert Thomas Dolby voice here, thank you), this is what you get.
Yes. They are all propped up against the train case. Sigh. Ah, well. So much for that elite team of rescue experts; I'll have to try again when I get back. I'll probably post some pictures while I'm away--especially if I manage to spot Bertie.
Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!
So, here's the latest word on the Elite Team of Rescue Experts:
Yes, that's what I think, too. The latest word is "ENOUGH!" I've decided to release them from their watery prison before I take off for a trip for the next five(ish) days. I'm almost ready to go. I've got one bag packed, and I'm brushing up on raccoon lore in case I happen to meet one where I'm going. And, the line-up of the newly-grown rescue experts? Well, it's kind of pitiful, actually. They are all now so very swollen that most of them can't stand up on their own. The pirate is especially prone to tipping over. You see? When you tamper with SCIENCE (insert Thomas Dolby voice here, thank you), this is what you get.
Yes. They are all propped up against the train case. Sigh. Ah, well. So much for that elite team of rescue experts; I'll have to try again when I get back. I'll probably post some pictures while I'm away--especially if I manage to spot Bertie.Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!
BERTIE GOES HOBO!
[Before we begin, I recommend this book by Jack London! It's all available online with cool old photos. Now...on to today's action-packed post.]
Hey, Bertie! Check it out! I'm growing the elite team of rescue experts to help you save your pals from the robots! Actually, I'm a little bit concerned about Tippy the Turtle--he's lurking in the top of the jar in that "fish-to-be-flushed" kind of way--but you never wanted him anyway, huh? Anyhoo, here they are!
I think they look a tad sluggish, but this is just the first day. I figure that if they come out looking not-so-elite I'll just hire a personal trainer for them. Like this guy:
Bertie? Yoo-hoo...Bertie?
Holy cow. You know, I SAW that big, spotted handkerchief with all of Bertie's possessions lying near a stick last night, but I just thought, "He must not have put away his Halloween costume yet." I know he has been a little mad at me, but I never put two and two together. Good lord, much like these schoolchildren, Bertie has gone hobo!
How on earth will he survive out there? I mean, let's face it, dinosaurs have a very poor track record of surviving, period. But, let's review. He doesn't have any hobo soup, to my knowledge:
He doesn't know how to steal pies and run gleefully away:
He doesn't KNOW the hobo signs:
He doesn't HAVE a clever sign to help him raise $$$:
Most importantly, Bertie has NO idea how to ride the rails.
And he doesn't know how hostile it is out there! Hobos already have a very hard life. Does Bertie think it will be an easier for a small, plastic dinosaur hobo? C'mon!
A Chain Gang! Oh, man. Bertie is so screwed. But hang on, I just realized something. Bertie has had that sexy poster of popular children's program host Hobo Kelly on his wall for awhile. I don't think he realizes that Hobo Kelly is not on TV anymore! I bet he went out there to try to join HER gang of quirky creatures. GEEZ! Bertie chose Hobo Kelly over me! Dang it! I knew I should have purchased a jaunty little hat this fall. TARNATION! Well, at least I hope he writes a note to let me know he's okay. Hollywood is a meat grinder of wannabe stars. I wonder if he's gonna go hang out at Schwab's Drug Store or somethin'?
Attributions of images and photos: First one is mine, second one is from Popular Mechanics, hobo signs come from Slacktivate, the pie guy is by Norman Rockwell, the hobo under the train is from the book by Jack London, the picture of Hobo Kelly is from the Web site above, and I'm finked if I know where I got the rest of the images. In any event, all of this material is being used purely for educational purposes and I will be glad to take any images down if need be.
Hey, Bertie! Check it out! I'm growing the elite team of rescue experts to help you save your pals from the robots! Actually, I'm a little bit concerned about Tippy the Turtle--he's lurking in the top of the jar in that "fish-to-be-flushed" kind of way--but you never wanted him anyway, huh? Anyhoo, here they are!
I think they look a tad sluggish, but this is just the first day. I figure that if they come out looking not-so-elite I'll just hire a personal trainer for them. Like this guy:
Bertie? Yoo-hoo...Bertie?Holy cow. You know, I SAW that big, spotted handkerchief with all of Bertie's possessions lying near a stick last night, but I just thought, "He must not have put away his Halloween costume yet." I know he has been a little mad at me, but I never put two and two together. Good lord, much like these schoolchildren, Bertie has gone hobo!
How on earth will he survive out there? I mean, let's face it, dinosaurs have a very poor track record of surviving, period. But, let's review. He doesn't have any hobo soup, to my knowledge:
He doesn't know how to steal pies and run gleefully away:
He doesn't KNOW the hobo signs:
He doesn't HAVE a clever sign to help him raise $$$:
Most importantly, Bertie has NO idea how to ride the rails.
And he doesn't know how hostile it is out there! Hobos already have a very hard life. Does Bertie think it will be an easier for a small, plastic dinosaur hobo? C'mon!
A Chain Gang! Oh, man. Bertie is so screwed. But hang on, I just realized something. Bertie has had that sexy poster of popular children's program host Hobo Kelly on his wall for awhile. I don't think he realizes that Hobo Kelly is not on TV anymore! I bet he went out there to try to join HER gang of quirky creatures. GEEZ! Bertie chose Hobo Kelly over me! Dang it! I knew I should have purchased a jaunty little hat this fall. TARNATION! Well, at least I hope he writes a note to let me know he's okay. Hollywood is a meat grinder of wannabe stars. I wonder if he's gonna go hang out at Schwab's Drug Store or somethin'?
Attributions of images and photos: First one is mine, second one is from Popular Mechanics, hobo signs come from Slacktivate, the pie guy is by Norman Rockwell, the hobo under the train is from the book by Jack London, the picture of Hobo Kelly is from the Web site above, and I'm finked if I know where I got the rest of the images. In any event, all of this material is being used purely for educational purposes and I will be glad to take any images down if need be.
I Need A Sidekick because I AM A Sidekick
"Okay, as you might recall, I am Bertie. For several weeks, a state of extreme dramatic tension has been building (yes, that's the vague sense of uneasiness you have been experiencing--it's not just anomie, nameless dread, or indigestion this time).""I've gotta pull off some kind of a great escape caper that will free my buddies from the unknown men of sophisticated peril."
"So, I have spent every waking hour...hey! What are you doing? I had to eat!"
"Anyway, I have spent every single breath, every ounce of my strength...hey! Quit that! I'm telling you, I was worn down from all my plotting...I was hungry!"
"And thirsty! I was very thirsty, and you know, after you eat the Chinese food you need ice cream because that food is so light and why not a root beer float to rehydrate and stay strong and hey! Have you been following me?"
"Every other second that I have NOT been COMPELLED to devote to refueling my weak little body so I can prepare to single-handedly swoop down and rescue my comrades, I have devoted to...HEY! How'd you know about her? I swear she's just a friend of a friend. A big ol' friendly cowgirl who I bounce my rescue plans off of from time to time. No! That's not her phone number on there...Sheesh!"
"So, other than the big old friendly cowgirl, I am alone in this world, and..."
"HEY! How'd you find out about Jeanette, Genevieve, Lola, Mimi, Coco, Sylvie, Mehitabel, and Daisy?"
"WTF? You're all-seeing and all-knowing? You could have WARNED me, you know, plus you are one scary bright red lady. * That can't be good for your blood pressure. Is that a vein pulsing in your forehead?""Oh, I see...it's all MY fault that the story of the plot isn't moving along--it's just because I get hungry and thirsty and need to spend a little time with close, personal friends? It's not your fault a little, teensy bit?""Okay, okay, OKAY giant forehead martian lady.""But, look. I'm a sidekick, not a leading man. I'm not Bruce Willis. I'm the nebbishy little wisecracking guy. Nervous joke-cracking is my weapon of choice, next to a can of GladeTM air freshener. I mean, in a tight spot I WILL come through, but I need a gang, a posse, or at least ONE sidekick to help me out. Yeah, that's right. I need a sidekick because I AM a sidekick. "
"Yeah, exactly like that. See? During the Ordeal of the Ugly Cakelike Easter Hats, you had a sidekick to help you out. Get me Super-Pouty Girl in the yellow coat here! Just get me some BACK-UP for crying out loud. If I'm goin' in, I need some back-up. Wise up! Okay, you're "on it." That's nifty. We'll see what happens. My dream list of sidekicks--live or dead--includes Andre the Giant, maybe Oddjob from James Bond 'cause of the helpful hat and if we can sway him from his wicked ways, Peter Boyle from Young Frankenstein, Gig Young for no particularly good reason, Sideshow Bob if he's stable, Mr. Spock, Rosalind Russell..I dunno, my mind is blank. Any other ideas? Anybody want a root beer float to help you think? "
*Scary red Sparkle is courtesy of ClinkyTM. Giant scary cowgirl card belongs to Sparkle. Vaudeville poster found on ebay. Photos of restaurants found on the Web. Dinosaur photos by Sparkle, aka giant forehead martian lady.
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