So, I took a trip recently. I got on an airplane and I figured the airplane would, y'know, go--do that crazy flying thing it does so well.
Instead, my airplane sat on the runway. For three hours. During the first hour, they told us we would be taking off, ooh, every 15 minutes or so. During the second hour, there was absolutely no word until a low, savage grumbling began to arise from the sweating, peevish masses. (Okay, maybe it was just me being sweating and peevish?) The wing de-icing equipment came. And glided majestically away 'cross the glistening tarmac. Then, five minutes later, we all heard this announcement by the flight attendant--oh, she was a stewardess, let's call a spade a spade:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to thank you again for your patience. We need to wait our turn to have our wings de-iced. Once that happens, we'll be underway and (this was clearly a doomed effort to get us all excited and happy) soon we'll have beverage service! Fountain drinks, juice, and water costs $1.00. Alcoholic beverages cost $5.00. We're so glad you chose to fly our airline and be here with us today!"
Plane full of people sat there staring at each other. We had all seen the de-icing equipment come. And go. We had seen it, really, we had seen it! In fact, we were a pale-faced, icy-fists-gripping-stomachs pack of William Shatners in that Twilight Zone episode when he sees the gremlin on the wing. He SEES it. Except the gremlin that we saw was what I shall call "disquieting hints of flight crew incompetence."
Two minutes passed. Two minutes jam-packed with stewardess buttons being pounded and frenzied, spitty, agitated, hissed conversations between and amongst the flight crew and us William Shatners.
Two more minutes brought the dawn of a bright new announcement:
"Uh, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking...as several of you have kindly called to our attention, we have already had our wings de-iced. What we're doing now is..." squeaky muffled sound as there is a failed attempt to cover the microphone, "C'mon. What should I tell them? What should I tell them?" Other voice: "Tell them snow...just tell them snow" squeaky muffled sound as the pilot tries to re-engage the communications system that is already working just fine. "...yeah, what we are doing now is...it's a little too technical to explain, but we found some snow on the engine and..." random squeaky muffled sound, "...yeah, we need to put some heat on the engine. Yep. We'll be underway after we put some heat on the engine."
Then, it was another hour before we took off.
The only conclusion to draw from this story? They were attempting to sober the pilot up. They did! I got there and back!
Early Space Exploration!
Here's some of my favorite space-related stuff when I was a kid.
FIRST AND BEST OF ALL! THE VIEWMASTER! I was fascinated by my Viewmaster, and I loved peeking into the 3-D worlds inside. While not directly related to space exploration, there were lots of Viewmaster reels about rockets and space, and I assumed every astronaut had a Viewmaster. Buying a new Viewmaster reel was an extremely exciting event. (Here's an interesting article about the Viewmaster. And, one about sculptor Florence Thomas.)
ONE OF MY FAVORITE VIEWMASTER IMAGES, FROM HUCKLEBERRY HOUND LANDS ON THE MOON I would still like to go to the "New Moon Drive-In."*
The Flying Saucer (photo courtesy of the Online Exhibits at the Archives of Ontario**)
Food Sticks--Mystery of the Astronauts! (chocolate not peanut butter)
The Monkey in the Rocket!
PlayPlax that I Used to Build My Super-Modern Moon House!
Kerplunk! Somehow, I always associated the shape of this with a rocket.
Up Next: More toys.
*Image courtesy of Hanna-Barbera.
**It's time for my annual celebration of the Internet Archive, home of quite a bit of footage from the wonderful Prelinger Archives.
Have a great day!
FIRST AND BEST OF ALL! THE VIEWMASTER! I was fascinated by my Viewmaster, and I loved peeking into the 3-D worlds inside. While not directly related to space exploration, there were lots of Viewmaster reels about rockets and space, and I assumed every astronaut had a Viewmaster. Buying a new Viewmaster reel was an extremely exciting event. (Here's an interesting article about the Viewmaster. And, one about sculptor Florence Thomas.)
ONE OF MY FAVORITE VIEWMASTER IMAGES, FROM HUCKLEBERRY HOUND LANDS ON THE MOON I would still like to go to the "New Moon Drive-In."*
The Flying Saucer (photo courtesy of the Online Exhibits at the Archives of Ontario**)
Food Sticks--Mystery of the Astronauts! (chocolate not peanut butter)The Monkey in the Rocket!
PlayPlax that I Used to Build My Super-Modern Moon House! 
Kerplunk! Somehow, I always associated the shape of this with a rocket. 
Up Next: More toys.*Image courtesy of Hanna-Barbera.
**It's time for my annual celebration of the Internet Archive, home of quite a bit of footage from the wonderful Prelinger Archives.
Have a great day!
How Obama is More Like Reagan Than Lincoln(?)
Some people dig the Ronald Reagan. Others find the Ronald Reagan to be a figure of fun.
Me? I just report the news that's fit to print from the sources that see fit to print it.
A writer for Newsweek says: "Everybody in the capital is comparing Obama to Abraham Lincoln. But the more recent—and illuminating—comparison is Ronald Reagan."
I don't claim that when a writer from Newsweek says "Jump!" I yell, "Sir! How high, sir?!"
But, the article got me thinking. Maybe they're both kinda unify-y and communicate-y, but what on earth else? 'cause many good girls and boys appear to be freaking out and muttering things about "lib-rals"--it's never good when they leave out the middle syllable--destroying the country and thinking longingly of the Reagan good times. Maybe it would help them if I found some parallels?
Buckle up. Here we go.
So, everybody knows that Obama has smoked a cigarette or two. Reagan, in contrast, was not a smoker, and--
Well, holy cow. Okaaaaaaay. And, speaking of cows, Reagan was very identified with cowboys, and lord knows Obama wouldn't wear a--
Skip it. Anyhow, one thing's for sure. Think about those recent shirtless pictures of Obama. Reagan would never be caught dead without--
HOLY MOLEY! Sorry. Didn't expect to see that. As long as we're "going there," I might as well sidetrack and share this strangely "Field and Stream Playmate Centerfold" image of Putin.
Whoa...Putin! Tuck your rod away and be putin' on some more clothes! Heh. Uh. Heh. Okay. Not funny. Let's move on.
One thing I know and like about both men: Doodlers. So, that's a draw.
And, both could be described as ballsy by their athletic supporters.
I'm sure there's other stuff (uh, both men spent formative years in places beginning with "H"?), but I gotta call this a wrap. I guess that on this historic day of history, what I'm struck by is:
1) It works best to take the measure of a president after he has been in office and has served the country--until then, all you can talk about is cigarettes and doodles, doodles and cigarettes!
2) I really can't wait 'til Joe Biden--bless his impulse-control-deficient heart--says something off-the-wall! Will he? Won't he? How long will it be until he does?
Me? I just report the news that's fit to print from the sources that see fit to print it.
A writer for Newsweek says: "Everybody in the capital is comparing Obama to Abraham Lincoln. But the more recent—and illuminating—comparison is Ronald Reagan."
I don't claim that when a writer from Newsweek says "Jump!" I yell, "Sir! How high, sir?!"
But, the article got me thinking. Maybe they're both kinda unify-y and communicate-y, but what on earth else? 'cause many good girls and boys appear to be freaking out and muttering things about "lib-rals"--it's never good when they leave out the middle syllable--destroying the country and thinking longingly of the Reagan good times. Maybe it would help them if I found some parallels?
Buckle up. Here we go.
So, everybody knows that Obama has smoked a cigarette or two. Reagan, in contrast, was not a smoker, and--
Well, holy cow. Okaaaaaaay. And, speaking of cows, Reagan was very identified with cowboys, and lord knows Obama wouldn't wear a--
Skip it. Anyhow, one thing's for sure. Think about those recent shirtless pictures of Obama. Reagan would never be caught dead without--
HOLY MOLEY! Sorry. Didn't expect to see that. As long as we're "going there," I might as well sidetrack and share this strangely "Field and Stream Playmate Centerfold" image of Putin.Whoa...Putin! Tuck your rod away and be putin' on some more clothes! Heh. Uh. Heh. Okay. Not funny. Let's move on.One thing I know and like about both men: Doodlers. So, that's a draw.
And, both could be described as ballsy by their athletic supporters.
I'm sure there's other stuff (uh, both men spent formative years in places beginning with "H"?), but I gotta call this a wrap. I guess that on this historic day of history, what I'm struck by is:1) It works best to take the measure of a president after he has been in office and has served the country--until then, all you can talk about is cigarettes and doodles, doodles and cigarettes!
2) I really can't wait 'til Joe Biden--bless his impulse-control-deficient heart--says something off-the-wall! Will he? Won't he? How long will it be until he does?
Important Medical Alert and Martha Stewart Visits!
IMPORTANT MEDICAL ALERT
If you feel a little blurry and weak, ask a friend to bring you a soft cloth STAT; it might just be "The Shipping Haze."
MARTHA STEWART VISITS!
Okay, so I'm lying. But some day, so help me Darwin, I will open "Martha Stewart Living" and right next to "Refrigerate salad plates," I will read, "A cheerfully mismatched collection of brightly colored vases filled with small plastic dinosaurs can delight and surprise your guests." (Note: If you look at the yellow vase dinosaur, he is clearly saying: "Whaddya whaddya?" If you look at the blue vase dinosaur, he has clearly just told a dirty joke. And, if you look at the green vase dinosaur, he is clearly wondering what the hell is happening.)
Have a great weekend!
If you feel a little blurry and weak, ask a friend to bring you a soft cloth STAT; it might just be "The Shipping Haze."
MARTHA STEWART VISITS!Okay, so I'm lying. But some day, so help me Darwin, I will open "Martha Stewart Living" and right next to "Refrigerate salad plates," I will read, "A cheerfully mismatched collection of brightly colored vases filled with small plastic dinosaurs can delight and surprise your guests." (Note: If you look at the yellow vase dinosaur, he is clearly saying: "Whaddya whaddya?" If you look at the blue vase dinosaur, he has clearly just told a dirty joke. And, if you look at the green vase dinosaur, he is clearly wondering what the hell is happening.)
Have a great weekend!
Drago: “She’s a flop. A has been. Ran out of dinosaur ideas back in October ’07. Did you hear about the robots?”Bertie: “No. What about them?"
Drago: "They got tired of waiting for her big, stinkin’ brain to come up with a new idea and got a new gig.”
Bertie: “What are they doing now?
Drago: “I dunno. They’re like aquarium decorations or somethin’.”
Bertie: “Man, she’s really pitiful, huh?”
Sparkle: “Hi, hi! I’ll be coming up with a new story line for you any day now, and—hey! What was that? Did you just roll your eyes?”
Bertie: “No, no. Not at all.”Drago: "Gnurrrrr."
Sparkle: “You just did it again! Quit it!”Today's Guest Symbolic Gesture is...The Eye Roll!
"Eyes raised upward, often accompanied by an audible 'tut' is a common sign expressing condescension, boredom, or exasperation."True Fact: An audible "tut" can be crushing. Beware the audible "tut."
The Hottest Fellows No Longer Alive
Dear Mr. Cary Grant,
You. Yes, you, my sleek-haired, tweedy idol. You know how I've always loved you beyond the grave. NO! Not in an icky way--stop doing that adorable, wide-eyed double-take in alarm--in a worshipping-your-memory way. You, sir, are the hottest fellow no longer alive. What is there not to love about you? You were suave, debonair, witty, and you could do double takes and pratfalls like no other similarly sophisticated man about town. Your movies! Ah! Your movies! And, y'know, just you:
Anyhoo, I'm just dropping a note to let you know that you've got to move over and share my unwavering devotion with him:
Yes, him--no, not Kennedy although he's just dandy, the other guy:
Cary, that is Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island, and while I didn't think about him very much until last week when his death was announced, I frickin' worship the man. Here, let me take you back to the day when I first fell in love with Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island (and didn't even know him).
THE SCENE: A FINANCIAL AID OFFICE AT A COLLEGE, LONG AGO AND FAR, FAR AWAY
THE PLAYERS: A FINANCIAL AID COUNSELOR AND SPARKLE, WHO IS PAYING AND WORKING HER OWN WAY THROUGH SCHOOL. SPARKLE LOOKS VERY PALE.
Financial Aid Counselor: "So, you can take out these loans, and this is when you'll need to pay it all back by."
Sparkle (thinks to self "That year is incredibly far away and that there is a huge wagonload of money to owe."): "Okay."
Financial Aid Counselor (starts throwing forms and pens around wildly, trusses Sparkle up in red tape like a Thanksgiving turkey)
Sparkle: "And I sign here and here? And you need some blood, too? How much blood? Should I eat some crackers or something first?"
Financial Aid Counselor: "MWAH HA HA HA HA!"
Sparkle: "Aiiiiieee!"
And then...amidst all of the getting-myself-into-debt carnage, this happened.
Financial Aid Counselor: "OH!"
Sparkle: "What what?"
Financial Aid Counselor: "You are very much eligible for a Pell grant."
Sparkle: "Swell. Where do I sign, and which organ would you like this time?"
Financial Aid Counselor: "You need not pay the Pell grant back. It's a grant."
Sparkle: "You want my child? I need to hit the streets? What's the catch?"
Financial Aid Counselor: "No, no, no, no. You will just get that money."
CARY! I DID "just get that money" and I did NOT need to pay the Pell grants back!!! You, as a once-impoverished former street performer, will appreciate this. And, I had no idea that Pell grants were named for a real person. Shame on me. But, let's focus now: Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island is now tied with you as the hottest fellow no longer alive. Like you, he was quiet, thoughtful, and polite to a fault. And like you, he was a bit quirky: He liked to jog in a tweed coat and he was fascinated with UFOs and extra sensory perception. And, for the serious stuff, he is "best remembered for his devotion to education, maritime, and foreign affairs issues." Maritime and foreign affairs! There's something you-ish about that--Father Goose, An Affair to Remember...
Ooh! Sorry, I got a little dreamy-eyed there. Point is: I'm kicking myself for failing to write Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island a thank you letter while he was still alive. I should have. I'm hoping that some of the other 54 million people he helped go to college did, but if not I hope he knew what a huge difference it made to us--or at least to me.
Love,
Sparkle
You. Yes, you, my sleek-haired, tweedy idol. You know how I've always loved you beyond the grave. NO! Not in an icky way--stop doing that adorable, wide-eyed double-take in alarm--in a worshipping-your-memory way. You, sir, are the hottest fellow no longer alive. What is there not to love about you? You were suave, debonair, witty, and you could do double takes and pratfalls like no other similarly sophisticated man about town. Your movies! Ah! Your movies! And, y'know, just you:
Anyhoo, I'm just dropping a note to let you know that you've got to move over and share my unwavering devotion with him:
Yes, him--no, not Kennedy although he's just dandy, the other guy:
Cary, that is Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island, and while I didn't think about him very much until last week when his death was announced, I frickin' worship the man. Here, let me take you back to the day when I first fell in love with Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island (and didn't even know him).THE SCENE: A FINANCIAL AID OFFICE AT A COLLEGE, LONG AGO AND FAR, FAR AWAY
THE PLAYERS: A FINANCIAL AID COUNSELOR AND SPARKLE, WHO IS PAYING AND WORKING HER OWN WAY THROUGH SCHOOL. SPARKLE LOOKS VERY PALE.
Financial Aid Counselor: "So, you can take out these loans, and this is when you'll need to pay it all back by."
Sparkle (thinks to self "That year is incredibly far away and that there is a huge wagonload of money to owe."): "Okay."
Financial Aid Counselor (starts throwing forms and pens around wildly, trusses Sparkle up in red tape like a Thanksgiving turkey)
Sparkle: "And I sign here and here? And you need some blood, too? How much blood? Should I eat some crackers or something first?"
Financial Aid Counselor: "MWAH HA HA HA HA!"
Sparkle: "Aiiiiieee!"
And then...amidst all of the getting-myself-into-debt carnage, this happened.
Financial Aid Counselor: "OH!"
Sparkle: "What what?"
Financial Aid Counselor: "You are very much eligible for a Pell grant."
Sparkle: "Swell. Where do I sign, and which organ would you like this time?"
Financial Aid Counselor: "You need not pay the Pell grant back. It's a grant."
Sparkle: "You want my child? I need to hit the streets? What's the catch?"
Financial Aid Counselor: "No, no, no, no. You will just get that money."
CARY! I DID "just get that money" and I did NOT need to pay the Pell grants back!!! You, as a once-impoverished former street performer, will appreciate this. And, I had no idea that Pell grants were named for a real person. Shame on me. But, let's focus now: Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island is now tied with you as the hottest fellow no longer alive. Like you, he was quiet, thoughtful, and polite to a fault. And like you, he was a bit quirky: He liked to jog in a tweed coat and he was fascinated with UFOs and extra sensory perception. And, for the serious stuff, he is "best remembered for his devotion to education, maritime, and foreign affairs issues." Maritime and foreign affairs! There's something you-ish about that--Father Goose, An Affair to Remember...
Ooh! Sorry, I got a little dreamy-eyed there. Point is: I'm kicking myself for failing to write Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island a thank you letter while he was still alive. I should have. I'm hoping that some of the other 54 million people he helped go to college did, but if not I hope he knew what a huge difference it made to us--or at least to me.
Love,
Sparkle
Stuff I'd Rather Be Doing
1) Threading popcorn.
2) Making weird-looking evil elves.
3) Putting peanuts out for squirrels.
4) Looking for box of ornaments in basement.
5) Deploying eucalyptus branches.
6) Figuring out Christmas menu.
7) Putting logs in basement.
8) Taking dog for nice long walk before snow.
9) Deploying lights.
10) Doing push-ups, preparing for snow shoveling.
11) Locating PamTM no-stick cooking spray to apply to shovel.
12) Figuring out better cover for log pile
13) Endlessly going to USPS.com and tracking packages that appear to just be sitting still "processed and ready for shipping."
14) Playing with hot glue gun.
15) Decorating tree with dinosaurs.
16) Sorting through paper work.
17) Re-organizing closet.
18) Sending cards and coffee gift certificates to clients.
19) Writing something good for blog.
20) Tape-recording dog's snoring.
Anything you'd rather be doing today? Any whichaway, have a great Friday and weekend!
2) Making weird-looking evil elves.
3) Putting peanuts out for squirrels.
4) Looking for box of ornaments in basement.
5) Deploying eucalyptus branches.
6) Figuring out Christmas menu.
7) Putting logs in basement.
8) Taking dog for nice long walk before snow.
9) Deploying lights.
10) Doing push-ups, preparing for snow shoveling.
11) Locating PamTM no-stick cooking spray to apply to shovel.
12) Figuring out better cover for log pile
13) Endlessly going to USPS.com and tracking packages that appear to just be sitting still "processed and ready for shipping."
14) Playing with hot glue gun.
15) Decorating tree with dinosaurs.
16) Sorting through paper work.
17) Re-organizing closet.
18) Sending cards and coffee gift certificates to clients.
19) Writing something good for blog.
20) Tape-recording dog's snoring.
Anything you'd rather be doing today? Any whichaway, have a great Friday and weekend!
Hot Tip, TravelDialogues, Girl's Navy Mascot
HOT TIP
The hot glue gun is the greatest tool known to humanity. Having overcome my lifelong fear of hotgluing my arms to the sides of my body, I am now hotgluing the world around me. Nothing is safe. Be warned.
TRAVELDIALOGUES
The Magazine
Me (on plane, reading magazine)
Woman Next to Me: "How are you enjoying your MAGAZINE?"
Me (looking up smiling): "Oh, it's just fine."
Woman Next to Me: "I have to tell you that I have never read a magazine in my whole life. Never."
Me (thinking "Why do you have to tell me this" and smiling in confusion): "Ah! Oh ho."
Woman Next to Me: "Never. I have never read a magazine. I never would."
Me (very confused--suddenly feel like we're talking about smoking): "Well, good for you! For heaven's sake, don't take it up now."
Woman Next to Me: "No. I won't. I never would. I had brothers growing up so I NEVER read a magazine. Not a one."
Me (unsure of connection, think she means she was a tomboy): "Wow! Well, how many brothers do you have?"
Woman (defiantly): "TWO!"
Me: "Well, grand."
Woman: "I would NEVER read a magazine."
Me (feeling rebellious): "What about NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC?"
Woman: "NEVER."
Me: "Okay!" (Go back to reading magazine.)
The Elevator
Me (traveling up in elevator)
Boop--elevator stops on Floor 16, doors open, two middle-aged guys are standing there looking shocked
Guy 1: "Oops! Are you going up?"
Me: "Yep."
Guy 2: "Sorry! We're going down. We musta pushed the wrong button here."
Me: "No problem!"
Guy 1: "It's like we're controlling the elevators! Like Darth Vader! LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER!"
Me: "HA! It's okay. I'm off."
Boop--doors close. Boop--doors open.
Guy 1: "Holy crap. It doesn't want to go up. What'd we do?"
Guy 2: "It's Princess Leia!"
Me: "HA! It's okay. I'm off."
Boop--doors close. Boop--doors open.
Both men are slinking over to the opposite bank of elevators, where one "down" elevator has opened.
Guy 1: "SORRY! We didn't touch anything!"
Me: "Surrrrre you didn't."
Guy 2: "No, really!"
Me: "Have a good one!"
Boop--doors close. Boop--doors open, revealing empty corridor. Sparkle steps out of elevator, hits up button outside elevator, steps back in, elevator proceeds up.
MEET THE NEW MASCOT OF THE GIRL'S NAVY: THE MYSTICAL BAT WOMAN! (I will be getting a tattoo of this, this...prehistoric alien wearing a dashiki)
The hot glue gun is the greatest tool known to humanity. Having overcome my lifelong fear of hotgluing my arms to the sides of my body, I am now hotgluing the world around me. Nothing is safe. Be warned.
TRAVELDIALOGUES
The Magazine
Me (on plane, reading magazine)
Woman Next to Me: "How are you enjoying your MAGAZINE?"
Me (looking up smiling): "Oh, it's just fine."
Woman Next to Me: "I have to tell you that I have never read a magazine in my whole life. Never."
Me (thinking "Why do you have to tell me this" and smiling in confusion): "Ah! Oh ho."
Woman Next to Me: "Never. I have never read a magazine. I never would."
Me (very confused--suddenly feel like we're talking about smoking): "Well, good for you! For heaven's sake, don't take it up now."
Woman Next to Me: "No. I won't. I never would. I had brothers growing up so I NEVER read a magazine. Not a one."
Me (unsure of connection, think she means she was a tomboy): "Wow! Well, how many brothers do you have?"
Woman (defiantly): "TWO!"
Me: "Well, grand."
Woman: "I would NEVER read a magazine."
Me (feeling rebellious): "What about NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC?"
Woman: "NEVER."
Me: "Okay!" (Go back to reading magazine.)
The Elevator
Me (traveling up in elevator)
Boop--elevator stops on Floor 16, doors open, two middle-aged guys are standing there looking shocked
Guy 1: "Oops! Are you going up?"
Me: "Yep."
Guy 2: "Sorry! We're going down. We musta pushed the wrong button here."
Me: "No problem!"
Guy 1: "It's like we're controlling the elevators! Like Darth Vader! LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER!"
Me: "HA! It's okay. I'm off."
Boop--doors close. Boop--doors open.
Guy 1: "Holy crap. It doesn't want to go up. What'd we do?"
Guy 2: "It's Princess Leia!"
Me: "HA! It's okay. I'm off."
Boop--doors close. Boop--doors open.
Both men are slinking over to the opposite bank of elevators, where one "down" elevator has opened.
Guy 1: "SORRY! We didn't touch anything!"
Me: "Surrrrre you didn't."
Guy 2: "No, really!"
Me: "Have a good one!"
Boop--doors close. Boop--doors open, revealing empty corridor. Sparkle steps out of elevator, hits up button outside elevator, steps back in, elevator proceeds up.
MEET THE NEW MASCOT OF THE GIRL'S NAVY: THE MYSTICAL BAT WOMAN! (I will be getting a tattoo of this, this...prehistoric alien wearing a dashiki)
Scenes from Last Week
Vacation Tips
1) Never get sick while you are on vacation.
2) Never go into a national park service bathroom while you are sick while you are on vacation.
3) Take lots of pictures, whether you are sick or not. When you get back home, you will then have the fun of sorting the pictures into "Before I Needed to Pay $18 for Pepto Bismal" and "After I Needed to Pay $18 for Pepto Bismal" piles. These are the Before ones.
Non-Specific "Beware" Sign of Limited Utility!
Many Helpful Cautions, Yet Pepto Bismal Needfulness is Glaringly Absent
Super Fun Big Game: Tilt Your Head to Simulate How I Felt When Sick
Sneaker. Sand. Sandneaker.
Stuff I Don't See At Home #1
Shhhhhh! No, really. SHH!
Stuff I Don't See At Home #2
Petroglyphs!
Sky Petroglyphs!
Stairs!
Pool!
Cool Bush!
Hiding Tree!
Woodsy Owl!
Craggy Stuff!
I Just Like This!
I Also Just Like This!
Creepy Mannequin #1! The Uniforms Worn by Howard Hughes' Stewardesses!
Creepy Mannequin #2! The Flight Suit Worn by Howard Hughes!
I Love a Diorama!
On the Homefront #1: Wilderness Camera Captures Deer!
On the Homefront #2: My Christmas Tree for the Birds
Hope all is well wherever you are roaming!
1) Never get sick while you are on vacation.
2) Never go into a national park service bathroom while you are sick while you are on vacation.
3) Take lots of pictures, whether you are sick or not. When you get back home, you will then have the fun of sorting the pictures into "Before I Needed to Pay $18 for Pepto Bismal" and "After I Needed to Pay $18 for Pepto Bismal" piles. These are the Before ones.
Smokey the Bear!
Non-Specific "Beware" Sign of Limited Utility!
Many Helpful Cautions, Yet Pepto Bismal Needfulness is Glaringly Absent
Super Fun Big Game: Tilt Your Head to Simulate How I Felt When Sick
Sneaker. Sand. Sandneaker.
Stuff I Don't See At Home #1 
Shhhhhh! No, really. SHH!
Stuff I Don't See At Home #2
Petroglyphs!
Sky Petroglyphs!
Stairs! 
Pool! 
Cool Bush! 
Hiding Tree! 
Woodsy Owl! 
Craggy Stuff!
I Just Like This! 
I Also Just Like This!
Creepy Mannequin #1! The Uniforms Worn by Howard Hughes' Stewardesses!
Creepy Mannequin #2! The Flight Suit Worn by Howard Hughes!
I Love a Diorama!
On the Homefront #1: Wilderness Camera Captures Deer!
On the Homefront #2: My Christmas Tree for the Birds
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