Showing posts with label niece. Show all posts
Showing posts with label niece. Show all posts

Sketchy and Random Week, Day 1!

So, my posts this weekend will be sketchy and random--more so than usual, that is. First, it's important to note that when I say "sketchy" I mean "cursory, rough, meager, and crude" and not "morally shady, ethically questionable, or sexually intriguing." I think my favorite usage of "sketchy" in this nuevo, morally shady way was by my niece.

Sparkle: "So, how was your trip to Venice, Italy niece?"
Niece: "I don't know. Venice was kind of...sketchy."

I was pretty surpised that "sketchy" was her major impression, but then I thought about this movie I saw a long time ago called "Don't Look Now." This is the scary midget from that movie, and now that I remember it Venice had its sketchy moments. Second, as far as "random" goes, I do not mean "weird" in that nuevo way. Wait, maybe I do mean a little weird--this is dinosaur casserole, after all, and occasionally weirdness pops by for a visit. Mostly, 'though, I mean it will be a week of posts made without definite aim, reason, or pattern, and...wait a second. Why am I bothering to tell you this? That's my usual M.O., isn't it? I might as well say something deep like "This blog is on the World Wide Web!" Anyhoo, on to the sketchy and random topics for the day.

This weekend, I was trying to come up with unlikely foods, which is kind of like shooting fish in a barrel because there are so many:

1) Turnipz (the light little cracker with the big turnip taste!)--tap-dancing turnips are on the box.

2) Moogurt with Gravola—rich, beef-flavored yogurt with a little plastic dome filled with mix-in gravy crunchies!

3) Hamgurt!

4) Hoofait--lil' lunchbox-sized layered puddins' with three creamy, real hoof flavors (goat hoof, cow hoof, and camel hoof).

5) Ham-fu--ham-flavored tofu (hold on, I think I figured out this is pretty much Spam).

6) Foodcheese--real cheese flavored cheesefood.

7) Spinachos--spinach-flavored tortilla chips (I don't think this belongs here...it's too close to possible. You could have a great package design with a big hypno-wheel on the front and a little spinacho in the middle of the wheel. PAY me if you do this, dang it.).

8) Loafaloos with mini-mashalos--you already figured this one out, right? Cereal made of tiny meatloafs with dehydrated potato "mashalos." Add milk and it's...dinner.

9) Beansicle--a refreshing, high-protein ice pop made with eight kinds of beans.

10) Mock Ritz Pie--A mock ritz cracker mock apple pie made with circus peanuts and saltines. Is there no end to the mockery?

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