Happy Birthday: Stephen King, Bill Murray, Sparkle Plenty

Stephen King, Bill Murray, and Sparkle Plenty were all born on This Day in History. Stephen King and Bill Murray are both 6'2 or taller, can slam-dunk a basketball, and can reach stuff on high shelves! Similarly, Sparkle Plenty...oh, crud.

Let's try again. Stephen King and Bill Murray have both made their mark on the movie-going public--whether you want a thrill, a chill, a yuk, or a heart-break these boys deliver the goods. Similarly, Sparkle Plenty has made several highly-acclaimed (by her sister) home movies of her dog and...oh, crud.

One more time: Hey! At least Sparkle Plenty is considerably younger than Stephen King and Bill Murray! She's still pretty old, but younger...so maybe some day she'll still hit 6'2 and make her mark on the movie-going public?

To sum up: Bill Murray and Stephen King ROCK.

To further sum up: Sparkle's gonna have cake today...so she's got that goin' for her.

Tuesday Awards and $10 Worth of Toys!

Before I get down to the business of the day, I must issue some early morning awards. Lamont Cranston wins an Algonquin Roundtable award for, "I wrote you a funny, touching, thoughtful birthday money order, but a bonobos monkey ate it." He can come and pick up his round table at the Ikea shipping dock. Lois Lane, Ace Reporter, gets an award for being witty while direly ill. Cake gets an award for also owning a blue wig and for taking excellent photos of evil horses.

Yesterday, I Ain't No Oprah said, and I quote, "Still talking about your birthday??!! Let it go, let it go..." As I Ain't No Oprah is my Celebrity Blogography of the week, I feel like I need to pay more attention to his agitated, vein-throbbing-in-forehead dithering than I ordinarily would. So, in deference to I Ain't No Oprah, I WILL "let my birthday go." Yes, I will let it go Starting Tomorrow. Until then, how about a birthday recap? Yes, I thought you'd be game!

First, as I noted yesterday, one of my favorite gifts was--no, sadly not a torque wrench, as suggested by Meredic, who lives in the North Wales mountains--$10 of quarters to put in the toy machine I have previously chronicled in these pages.
A deep, soul-searing question has been haunting all of you in the silent watches of the night, hasn't it? No, not the one about world peace. This question: WHAT do you GET when you insert $10 of quarters into a "Space Station" toy machine? Here. This is what you get.
What's that, I Ain't No Oprah? This is not enough post-birthday fun for you? You want to see the birthday card I received from my sister? And, you are wondering whether Jayne presented me with a special birthday greeting? Well, wonder no more, my vein-throbbing-in-forehead, chum!
This is the card I received from my sister, and yes, that IS a photograph of a cemetery.

Officially, I am in dire straits workwise, buried under a giant stack of words--both written and ones that are swirling around in my head and need to be written. This is me, with the exception that I am faced by a hostile pack of assignments, and not cards: So, I scuttle off to put my nose to the grindstone (ow ow OW), leaving you with a question to ponder: What was your favorite book when you were a child/young adult?

You Say It's Your Birthday! It's My Birthday, too--Yeah!

Good morning! Yes! It really is my birthday today. Here, would you like some birthday cake? Please, help yourself to a party hat. It's Friday! Make it a crown!Okay first, I need to hand out some awards from yesterday: Best "for real" complimenter is JoAnn from Holland. Best "all around inventive" complimenter is Lamont. Best "backhanded" complimenter of males is Her Royal Cakiness. Best "backhanded" complimenter of females is No Oprah. Owner of the best Surrealist Compliment is Bacon Ace. Mightiest man-magnet is Bella/Jayne, who attracts not JUST cleaning men at Burger King but guys who like to discuss poo in parks! Best complimenter in absentia is Lois, and she gets coloring books and chicken noodle soup, too. On to the birthday games--three questions!

QUESTION 1: In the photo below, what the heck am I doing? (Originally read: "Which one am I and what the heck am I doing?" "Which one am I" is too much of a slow pitch given that there are two other photos of me as a tot here--d'oh!) QUESTION 2: What famous people were born on your birthday? I share my birthday with: Bill Murray, H. G. Wells, Stephen King, Nicole Ritchie, Don Preston (of the Mothers of Invention), Chuck Jones, Leonard Cohen, Henry Gibson, and Fannie Flagg, among others. Here's the thing: I think I probably DO have some traits in common with this motley crew. On the other hand, I'm not so sure I have anything in common with the Prime Minister of Japan, Jerry Bruckheimer, John Bunny, Larry Hagman, Faith Hill, Liam Gallagher, and Darva Conger. Hmm. D'you think you have anything in common with anyone born on your b'day? (Note: There's no reason to assume that you would, it's just something I think about...)

Here are some good quotes from people born on my birthday, 'cause heaven knows all you'll get out of my mouth is something dinosaur-related: "Some people bear three kinds of trouble--the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have" and "The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow" from H.G. Wells. "Act the way you'd like to be and soon you'll be the way you act" from Leonard Cohen. "If I have to spend some time in purgatory before going one place or the other, I guess I'll be all right as long as there's a lending library" from Stephen King. And, of course, the timeless: "Anytime I'm around a male body part, it's kind of exciting" from Nicole Ritchie.

QUESTION 3: Do you ever read your horoscope--not because you believe in it, but because you're glancing at the comics and it's RIGHT there and you think to yourself, "Okay, how wrong is it going to be today?" Or, maybe you really truly believe in astrology? Either one is fine by me. I'm not a true believer, but I do glance at my horoscope from time to time thinking, "You're going to scold me again about being an overly meticulous Virgo fussbot, aren't you?" But, the fact is that I actually put myself through college after glancing at an astrology book about Virgos that my friend Rick gave me. At the time, I was working as a secretary because I was too shy to do anything else (don't ask). The book said, "Virgos are ruled by the bowels. Their favorite color is navy blue, and they make ideal secretaries and nurses." Those were fighting words. Navy freakin' blue? Ruled by the bowels? "I am NOT an ideal secretary, damn it!" I bellowed (actually, I was an ideal secretary), and I enrolled in my first college courses the next week. Oh, dear. I guess I have to thank the author of that book.

Anyhoo, as I was sifting through birthday stuff online yesterday, I found this "You Born Today" thing about September 21ers. It is probably just my mood, but some of the stuff in there actually seemed kinda accurate. It probably helped that it didn't say anything about navy blue, secretaries, or bowels. I'm curious: If you get a chance and have the vaguest inclination, visit this page, scroll down down down, click on the link to your sign, scroll down down down, and click on the day you were born. Does the article that pops up describe you? Is it way off? (Note: I know that the directions above are WAY too much work.)

Have a wonderful weekend!