Thursday, September 4, 2014

Positive and Negatives!

So, today I figured I'd give you a positive and some negatives. Let's start with the positive! This weekend, I am positive I saw a coyote! Unfortunately, I was creeping up on it quietly and I didn't get a great photo--it's a few degrees clearer than the images of Bigfoot, but more blurry than the Loch Ness documentation.
A few thoughts about coyotes:
1) I like 'em except when they eat people's kittens and puppies. Or babies--babies ain't good either.
2) My sister's favorite quote about coyotes was from a woman who was on the radio being interviewed and said, "The coyotes are everywheah...theah creepin' up ovah the seawall, and they mean business." Kinda menacing and funny at the same time.
3) No roadrunner was in sight, nor were any Acme coyote-destruction devices.

And now, for the negatives. Am I the only freak who likes to play around with the "black and white," "antique," and "negative" effects of her photo editor software? No, no. Don't tell me. I don't want to feel alone. Anyway, let's have ourselves a festival of negativity! You ready? Great! Here goes!
This one is a favorite. A little fish-weighing shack at a fishing lodge.

Tickets to a circus. I am the one who takes every free leaflet and bit of ephemera that is handed to her. And, uh, not to be overly negative but this looked like the most depressing little circus ever. Poor elephants.

A booklet by "Famous Author and Sportsman" Joseph D. Bates, Jr. How do I know that he is so famous? Because he tells me on almost every page of this booklet. Many of his tips involve: "Sterno" ("nothing is handier"), "Baggies," ("Since Baggies are transparent it's easy to see what's inside!"), "Wash 'n Dri's" ("a newsworthy product"). If you wish to correspond with Joseph, you can reach him at P.O. Box 2294, Grand Central Station, New York City, NY 10017. When I summon the courage, I plan to write him and ask him to explain what a "dingle stick" is. Anyway, he does include a nifty little idea for a food-grilling device (in case you're bored of your barbeque grill):

Last, but not least, here we have the Kite Flyer's Code for Safe Flying:
This weekend, I actually read this warning label on my kite, and once again I found out that I've been doing something all wrong. First, I shouldn't have tried to fly my kite using wire instead of string. This explains something that happened, and I'd explain what that something was if I hadn't lost my short-term memory in a recent accident. Second, I am supposed to avoid flying over spectators or within 5 miles of an airport. Third, I am supposed to wear "gloves or a similar device" to protect my hands from possible string burns. JEEZ! I go now to play outside in traffic. It is clearly a much safer form of entertainment.